Loving couple in a swing club
I will be honest: swinging has not always been easy for my husband and me. When we first started the lifestyle together, I saw my husband as someone I deeply cherished and wasn’t ready to share. We had not been together long, and I did not feel ready to share him. Neither of us was new to the lifestyle, but we were a new couple. He seemed confused by my reaction to swinging, but he agreed to take it step by step.
For those hoping to get their partners into the lifestyle, this first paragraph is important. As a couple, we compromised. I agreed to be in the lifestyle, and he agreed to give me the time to sort it out. There was never any pressure to do anything I was not comfortable with. If I felt him pushing, I let him know that I did not appreciate it.
Luckily for us both, he understood that if I was not happy, I would back out of the lifestyle completely. This was not a power struggle; it was simply a husband listening to how his wife was feeling. I never played games and often tried to push myself out of my comfort zone to make him happy.
This phase lasted about two years, and it was a significant period of growth for both of us. While we went to swing clubs and parties, we mostly socialized with others and then played alone. These two years taught us the value of patience and understanding. It gave us the opportunity to build a strong foundation of trust and communication, ensuring that we were fully aligned in our desires and boundaries. By taking this time, we both learned how to navigate the lifestyle in a way that respected each other’s comfort levels, ultimately making our relationship stronger and more resilient. At times, I could sense his frustration, but he never made me feel bad. Instead, he managed his emotions by focusing on our shared goals and reminding himself of the importance of my comfort. He would often engage me in open conversations about my feelings, using those moments to reaffirm his commitment to our journey together. We were approached often with offers to join others, but I simply was not ready.
What resulted from this time was that our relationship solidified. He taught me about trust. Even if everything was not going the way he had imagined, he was by my side. My husband put me first, and it was a very powerful aphrodisiac. He repeatedly told me how sex and love were not intertwined. Sex with other women was a physical act, not an expression of love. Love was something he would never share with another woman; that was reserved strictly for me.
When I finally felt ready to swing, I felt him by my side before, during, and after each encounter. He was careful to be attentive to me even when he was playing with someone else. A simple touch of his hand let me know that he was still thinking about me. At times, he would lean over and kiss me, searching my face for clues that everything was good for me. If he sensed that I was uncomfortable, he would ask if I wanted to go with him to pick up some water. Although I never walked away from a couple while we were playing, his constant connection with me meant everything. He didn’t just tell me he loved me more than swinging; he showed me.
Each time we played with another couple, we talked about the experience and how it made me feel. For example, after one encounter, I told him how I had initially felt nervous and out of place but gradually started to enjoy myself as I saw how attentive he remained to me. We discussed how his small gestures, like reaching out to hold my hand or checking in with me during the experience, made me feel secure and loved. Hearing his perspective about how he balanced his excitement with ensuring my comfort also deepened my understanding of his approach. I soon realized that I wanted to know the same from him. Listening to what he was feeling and experiencing was important to me. It soon became clear to me that I had cleared the hurdle. Swinging was becoming what it was supposed to be for a couple: light and fun, but nothing more than that.
Over time, I have become more independent in the lifestyle. Swinging is a big part of our lives, and I love it! It is enjoyable and fulfilling because it allows us to explore our desires in a safe and consensual way, while deepening our bond as a couple. The lifestyle has brought us closer by encouraging open communication, trust, and a shared sense of adventure. The excitement of meeting new people and experiencing unique moments together adds a layer of fun and spontaneity to our relationship, keeping it vibrant and fresh. Knowing that my husband has my back has given me confidence in both him and myself.
So often, I hear people asking how they can get their partner into the lifestyle. This is exactly the way to bring a partner into the lifestyle: with love, patience, and understanding. No pushing or losing patience when the person is not ready to take the next step. Two years might sound like a long time, but I have no doubt that my husband has no regrets. Today, we are exactly where he imagined us to be when we married.
Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. Without it, nothing is possible. With it, anything is.
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