This morning, I read about Demi Moore losing the Oscar for Best Actress to Mikey Madison. The news upset many of Demi’s fans, especially considering that her film, The Substance, tackles the indignities faced by women over 50 in Hollywood. Mikey Madison won for her role as a sex worker in Anora. One particularly frustrated fan wrote, “Demi was literally pouring all that brilliance on screen only for the younger actress, who benefited from sex appeal and social hype, to take that prestigious award from her.”
This stereotype—that younger women are valued over older women—is not exclusive to Hollywood. Most women would agree that this mentality exists in everyday life, from the workplace to social settings. Youth and beauty often seem to be the ultimate currency, leaving older women feeling overlooked or diminished.
But here’s where I disagree. Before I became a swinger, I assumed the same rules would apply in the lifestyle. I expected that young, beautiful women would be the most sought-after and that aging would mean becoming invisible. To my surprise, this is not the case.
In the lifestyle, confidence, experience, and personality often outweigh youth and conventional beauty. It’s an environment where chemistry and connection matter far more than societal expectations. Women who own their sexuality, who are comfortable in their own skin, and who bring energy and openness to the table tend to be the ones most admired and desired.
This isn’t to say that young women don’t get attention. Of course they do. But it’s not a given, and it’s certainly not the defining factor. Unlike in mainstream society, where youth is idolized, the lifestyle values maturity, communication, and a deep understanding of desire. The “prize” isn’t about age—it’s about what you bring to the experience.
This realization was refreshing. It challenged my assumptions and made me rethink the way I saw myself and other women. It also made me wonder—what if society at large operated the same way? What if we valued confidence over compliance, experience over inexperience, and depth over surface appeal? How different would our perceptions of beauty and worth be then?
In the lifestyle, women are not reduced to their age or their looks. They are seen, appreciated, and desired for who they truly are. And that, in itself, is the real prize.
So, the next time you find yourself believing that youth is the ultimate advantage, take a step back. True allure isn’t about the number of candles on a birthday cake—it’s about self-assurance, presence, and the way you connect with others. Maybe it’s time for the world beyond the lifestyle to take note.
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